Almost two years ago, when I was filling up my application form for ACET, I was honestly at sixes and sevens. At that time, my mind was really set on taking up Architecture at UST so I didn’t really know what to course to choose for Ateneo. In the end, I ended up choosing Management Honors as my first choice just because it had “-Honors” and it felt prestigious. I figured if I could not reach the top 15% quota, I’d still end up in Management standard so I took the risk. When the results came out, I was shocked but at the same time flattered. In my mind, I was like “I GOT INTO MANAGEMENT HONORS.” And so everything changed after that. I decided I didn’t really want architecture. Yeah, I love drawing but not buildings and architecture itself.
Long story short, I chose Ateneo. I chose Management Honors.
It’s already been a year since then and I’ve been living the MH Life for months now. When the first semester of second year started, I knew it was gonna be a tough one mainly because of accounting and statistics. But I was prepared to fight. And I did fight.
A Chinese proverb says,
“out of all the stratagems, knowing when to quit is the best”
Comparison #1
I compare myself to a boxer in a boxing match of 12 rounds. Right now, I’m in round 5 but already battered and bruised.
Yes, I still have the will to fight. I still have the determination to win. I still want to continue. I am not a quitter. I don’t like backing out from a fight.
But in this case, if I continue with the match, I was sure to lose if I continue and I might even lose something more precious than my stupid pride of not quitting. I might injure myself severely or permanently when in fact, I can just honorably quit the match and fight again some other time when I recover. Yes, wisdom– knowing when to quit. And that’s what I’m doing right now. I’m leaving Management honors because I know that it is time to quit. If I’m gonna lose (while getting more injuries) anyway on round 6 or 7 or 8 or some other later round, why not quit now while it’s still early? This way, I could still recover for my next fight.
Comparison #2
Let’s say I’m a car racer. I drive an awesome car and I compete in the World Racing Cup. And in these races I’ve been participating, I’ve only placed 28th.
This naive racer friend of mine tells me “Wow! You have an awesome racing car. I bet you’re always winning with this thing.”
I answer him, “No, my best record so far is only on the 28th place.”
He then makes a bewildered expression on his face and says, “Oh. I see.”
I know what he’s thinking. He thinks that I’m not that good of a racer even though I have an awesome racing car. Well, he’s undoubtedly wrong. I know I’m a good racer but competing in the World Cup, the races are tough. During the race, the cars are usually bumper to bumper with each other that every second matters. In fact, 28th place is already the best I could do.
One day, I decided I didn’t want races like these anymore. I decided that I’m only taking away the fun out of what I love doing- racing. By competing in the World Cup, I’m limiting my happiness because it’s always being overpowered by competitiveness and pressure. So after my last race, I quit the World Cup. I transferred to the National Cup and continued my racing career there. After my first race, I placed 2nd. Not bad. Definitely not bad. And to think, I’m still doing what I love, still competing, but happy. Competing in a world-class race while losing your happiness is not worth it. National Cup, World Cup- both still end at a finish line. It’s only a matter of perspective whether which finish line you think is better.
Comparison #3
I’m in an arcade game. My stats (Strength, Speed, Endurance) are still on the Level Two level and I’m already competing on Level Five. Surely, I’ll definitely lose and get eaten up by monsters. So, what I’ll do is press the menu button, exit level, and then choose Level Two.
Here in Level Two, I’m able to compete in a way wherein I could lose or I could win. It’s a fair fight. It’s where I belong. Unlike Level 5 where I was bound to lose before I reach the end. No matter how I persevere or try hard on that level, it was only a matter of time that I’d get eaten up. Because I knew that I did not possess enough powers to beat Level 5. I’m making a wise decision. I’m moving down to level two. But it doesn’t mean I’ve stopped fighting the battle. I still am, but only on a different arena.
Comparison #4
And here, the final comparison. Plotted in a T-Account.
MH Decision T-Account
“Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away, and move on to something that’s more productive.”
And so that’s it. I’m shifting out. My mind is set. My decision is firm.
On Monday, August 15, 2011. I’ll be heading to the SOM department and write my name, firm and solid, on that piece of paper.
So I’m back in Manila after a two week break. And believe me, two weeks pass by really fast. Anyway, to put it bluntly, I had fun during my break despite the small amount of days the it had. The first week was fun- I got reunited with my family and we went to a vacation in Davao along with some of my relatives. The first part of the second week was spent at home, bumming out and enjoying the feeling of having nothing to do. Cause I knew, that when the first semester begins, I will have to deal with tons of workload. Especially now when I’m an officer in an org and have 3 major subjects to deal with. asdfghjkl;
Probably the highlight of my part 2 (part two because I had a part one last March-April where we went to Singapore) was when I went to Dahilayan, Zip Zone Adventure with my high school barkada, FRIENDS. Though not everyone could make it, it was still loads of fun!
The Night before (June 3, 2011): There were only 5 people on the “I’m Attending” option in our facebook event and we only had one transpo (Ricardo’s Yellow F150) which is a five seater. The pick up was the perfect ride until more people confirmed that night. Since we couldn’t find another person to provide for transportation, we were unsure whether we should push through with our Zip Zone plans. But eventually, we decided to push it through. “Maigo lage ta! Sinabakay lang gud. Lingaw bitaw!”
There were only 5 attending! HAHA!
June 4, 2011
7:30- Meet up time at Kong Hua School. I arrived around 7:15. Saw Edda, Jenica and Robin and we decided to explore the “newly renovated Kong Hua”.
7:30-8:00 – Leo, Karen and Ricardo arrived.
8:00-8:30 Went to Robin’s house to leave his car.
8:30-9:00 Went to Ricardo’s house because he suggested that since we were a lot (we were still going to pick Dindi up so that’s 9 people), we should use their Crosswind. But as it turns out, he wasn’t allowed to use it because it wasn’t suitable for the Dahilayan’s rough road. So we ended up with the yellow F150. (sometimes called Bumblebee).
9:00-10:30 Trip to Dahilayan. Poor Robin and Michael, they had to stay on the open-top rear cargo area (bed). The Road Trip was awesome! Although we were so cramped inside, it was worth it. I got to bond with my friends. Oh and good thing Karen brought an iPad! At least we had music and were able to mess around with its Photobooth.
Photobooth 1
Photobooth 2
Photobooth 3
10:30 Arrive in Dahilayan.
10:30-12:00 Went to CR at the new hotel. Then, Karen, Jenica, Michael and I registered for Zip Line while Leo, Ric, Robin decided to ride the ATVs. Dindi and Edda were chillin’ somewhere inside the Forest Park.
Vain photo taken in Boys CR )
With jenica before the "shorter" zipline
Oh yeahh \m/
Picture taking after ziplining
Before riding the 840m Zipline
Took this pic while riding the SUPERMAN zipline!
12:00-12:30 Met up with everyone. Took pictures with the animal statues in Forest Park.
12:30-1:30 Ate lunch at the Forest Park restaurant (forgot what its name was).
Lunch!
1:30-2:30 Drive back to Cagayan de Oro. Awesome road trip. This time, no one was on the backseat cause it seemed like it was gonna rain. So we cramped ourselves inside the 5-seater cab. How? I do not know. HAHA.
Roadtrip!
Stopped by Shell for refueling (that's Ric's car right there!)
2:30-3:30 Arrive at Missy BonBon, Limketkai, CDO. Ate light snacks. Chilled.
At Missy BonBon
3:30-5:30 Watched X-Men First Class!
5:30 Bid Good Bye to friends. I’ll miss them! I’ll see them around sembreak na naman. :c
And there you go! The highlight of my summer break. But wait. Something else happened after that :>
June 8.
You see, my sister Karen and brother Justin are both transferring to Kong Hua School (my high school) and since they were new students and all, my mom wanted me to go with them on the first day. And because I haven’t visited my high school since graduation, I happily accepted the offer.
There were a lot of changes in Kong Hua. For one, the people. Gone were the days where I knew almost everyone in the high school department. My old friends have now graduated and moved on to college. My sophomore friends were now seniors. Time flies by really fast @.@ Second, the teachers. Sadly, a lot of my old teachers have either retired or transferred to another school. Third, the place. A LOT of renovations were done. The comfort room looks amazing.
But regardless of the changes, some things never change. Like my close 2nd year (now senior) friends- Franchelle, Bea, Bianca, Ria, Lixanne, Fritzie . . (the list goes on) and my freshman (now third year) friends- Abby, Shaira, Chelsea, Kasey, Anjuli and… (the list goes on). I missed you guys. I was so glad to see you again. Oh! And after a year of being friends “virtually”, Bea Chiu and I finally met in person! (Hi Bea! haha!) I also met some alumni who visited on that first day (Hi Jean, Fione, Joan, Esther, Livanne!)
The day went great. I hung out with my sophomore friends during recess and lunch break! Man, I missed them! Oh and I also introduced them to my brother and sister
From left: Bea, Bianca, Karen(sister), Franchelle, Fritzie, Emilianne
Change is the only constant thing in the world. Everything changes- whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually. During my childhood years up until five years ago, my family and I lived in a small city called Valencia in the province of Bukidnon. My mom was originally from Cagayan de Oro while my dad was from Cebu but since our business was situated in Bukidnon, they had to move there a few years after they got married. I had a happy childhood. Everyday, after school, I’d have a home to go to, and I get to see my family every single day. I’d watch television or play with my toys for a while until my tutor arrives. Sometimes, I’d also play with my siblings who were still little kids then. On weekends, I’d play basketball, ride my bike, or just explore the places in our hotel. I’d go to the kitchen, front desk, pool area or use paint on the office’s computer. Everything was normal until I graduated elementary.
an old picture during my 6th Grade
Even before Grade 6, I already knew what was going to happen. And honestly, I didn’t want to be stuck in First Fruits, where I studied in grade school, throughout my high school years. I desired change. I wanted change. Transferring to Cagayan de Oro was originally my parents’ idea. Being more than 50 percent Chinese, my parents wanted me to learn the Chinese language and Kong Hua School, the high school they sent me to, offered Chinese classes.
My mom and her sisters also graduated in that school and a lot of my cousins also studied there which in my opinion, affirmed the idea of transferring to a far away high school a good thing. You see, Cagayan de Oro is two hours and thirty minutes away from our hometown and going home everyday wasn’t an option. In the end, my parents decided to let me stay at my aunt’s place. Everything fell into place. I was ready for change. Well, I thought I was. The first few weeks of high school were tough. Not only did I transfer to a new school, I transferred to a completely new place. Being only thirteen, I had to live independently without my parents. Even though my aunt and cousins were there to keep me company, it was totally different. The new house didn’t feel like home. I admit there were times that I simply went to a corner and cried. I missed my family.
Weekends were something to look forward to. During my freshman year in high school, weekends meant more to me than ever. Being only two hours away, weekends were the time when my family would visit me and travel to Cagayan de Oro or when they’d send a car to pick me up and take me home back to Valencia.
Adjusting to my new life was tough, but eventually, things seemed pretty normal again. I still missed my parents and siblings though, but apart from that, I enjoyed life again. In fact, I enjoyed it so much that as the years went by, I’ve come to call Cagayan de Oro half my home- the other half being Valencia.
During Second Year
Before Cheerdance Competition, Sophomore Year
Farewell Party, after second year
During my third year, change happened again. Our bakery business in Valencia was doing well and we had just branched out in Cagayan de Oro. Since I was already fifteen and old enough to be responsible, my parents built a room for me on the second floor of our new bakeshop branch. I moved out from my aunt’s place and transferred to this new place. This time, I was literally living alone. No more cousins, no more aunt and uncle. Although the employees of our bakeshop were under my command, I had no friend. When I was in my aunt’s place, their van drove me to school every day along with my cousins who also study there. It was pretty convenient but when I moved out, I had to learn how to commute. Honestly, before this big change in my life happened, I’ve never ridden a public jeepney at all. My first jeepney ride was life-changing. I had to ride from our new bakeshop branch to my school but I did feel safe though. This was because my dad’s car was right behind the jeep I was riding and if something didn’t turn out well, I know that he was following right behind me. Riding a jeepney humbled me. Inside the jeepney were people from different walks of life- they may be students like me, employees, teachers, or old people who just came from the market and is holding a big basket filled with vegetables.
Life went on. I kept growing not only physically but also emotionally, mentally and spiritually. In time, I learned to adjust to my new place and felt a sense of normalcy again. Though my new place still wasn’t home, at that moment, it was all I could have. Months passed by and eventually, I was on my last year in high school.
Juniors 08-09
3rd Year Christmas Party
After 3rd Year Farewell Party
Fourth year was tough. We were loaded with a lot of school work and the lessons were getting harder. More responsibility fell on me because I was at that time, the elected treasurer of the Student Coordinating Council.
SCC 09-10
Before leaving for Seniors Retreat
Seniors 09-10, Intramurals 2009
Greek Exhibit, yes that's me- Zeus
Leadership Training Seminar 2010
Chinese New Year w/ IV WISDOM, we all wore red!:D
PROM 2010, Last Prom.
It was also during this year that I would be the exams that could change the course of my life- the college entrance exams.
Ever since third year, my mind-set for college had always been to take up architecture. And that’s exactly what I focused on. Since my parents did not want me to study in U.P, the best university option that offered architecture would be UST. Though I took six college entrance tests, the USTET was the one I really focused on. De La Salle University was the first to release the results followed by University of Asia and the Pacific. Next was UST. When I received the acceptance letter, I literally jumped for joy. Due to my happiness, I treated my friends to a delicious snack.For two weeks, I had my mind set on going to college at UST but all that changed when the ACET results came out. You see, I had always wanted to study in Ateneo but due to my choice of course being architecture, I had convinced myself that Ateneo just wasn’t for me. Seeing my name on the list of ACET passers made me feel proud of myself. I never expected to pass Ateneo because I didn’t really take the exam seriously and based on the number of intelligent people out there, my chances were slim. But I did pass it and that alone changed my life forever. A few days after that, I was now contemplating on which college I wanted to study. Yes, architecture had been my pre-decided course but did I really want to take it? To find the answer, I reflected on it. As it turns out, I wasn’t interested in houses at all. They didn’t fascinate me or gave me some form of happiness trying to draw them. Yes, I love drawing. But not houses.
So I’ve come to a decision- Ateneo it is.
The following weeks and months all went by so fast. I had my high school graduation on March 21st which marked the end of my high school years and the start of a new beginning, the start of something new, the start of a new change- college.
Kong Hua School, IV-WISDOM
IV-WISDOM Prom Pic
Graduation Day. Picture with Family.
To a better future!
This is my life’s biggest change yet. For one, I would be living in Metro Manila, miles away from Cagayan de Oro and Valencia City. Though my whole life has been all about living independently and far away from home, living in Manila was something completely new. This time, I wouldn’t be seeing my parents anymore every weekend. I did feel the fear and anxiety but I did also feel a bit of curiosity for my upcoming new reality.
During my slot confirmation for ADMU, Summer 2010
Honestly, I’ve never imagined that I’d end up studying in Ateneo de Manila University, one of the best universities in the country. But it happened. And for that, I am forever grateful to God who gave me this opportunity and to my parents who are working hard every single day to pay for the university’s expensive tuition. So June came. And every new thing was thrown at me like an automatic catapult- manila life, college life and dorm life. This meant that I was now in a completely new school environment with a completely new approach to academics, a stranger in a new place full of diverse people and an average seventeen year old boy living far away from home all by himself.
OrSem 2010 with Block Q
I BS MGT-H, Block Q
The first few weeks of my stay here in Manila were tough just like what I experienced during my first year in high school. The first step to adjusting started in my new home, the dorm. Because of its safe and convenient location, my parents chose the Ateneo Residence Halls as my place of stay here in Manila. But for the past years, it’s either I’ve been living with my family, my relatives or just simply alone. Dorm life was something completely alien to me. I have never lived with other people before and for me, I’d rather contain my loneliness than share a room with someone else. But when I entered the dorm, I was forced to accept the fact that I would be sharing a room with three other dormers like me. I had no choice so I gave it a shot. As it turns out, sharing a room with someone else is not as bad and as you think. It actually feels nice to have people with the same experiences as you become your roommates. Eventually, the dorm Orientation Seminar happened and because of that, I got to know quite a number of other freshmen dormers like me and some of them are now one of the closest friends I have here in the Ateneo. The dorm for me feels like a second home. Though it would never compare to our house back in Valencia, it was a good enough place where people you care and love also reside. I love the dorm; it’s the closest thing to home.
ARSA OrSem FCC 11
After ARSA OrSem Amazing Race
With Dormers chillin' after Miting de Avance
Welcome to Cervini Room 321. This is my corner.=) (it's still clean!:o)
Because of my adjustment to dorm life, everything else just fell into place. College life seemed like a breeze compared to the other new experiences I’m going through. I have to admit though that it did take me a while for me to get used to the university campus, its policies and its community. But eventually, all that didn’t matter anymore. Days became weeks and weeks added up to become months. Without knowing it, the first semester was already over and I was now a fully transformed college student.
With Barkada.=) I love you guys!
Lights Out Christmas Party
During the UAAP Admu Vs Lasalle Game @ Araneta Center
Soon enough, life here in Manila became my reality and a sense of normalcy was restored. Sometimes during weekends, we’d go out with my friends to watch movies, go to the malls or just eat out in Katipunan to relieve a hell week’s stress. My dorm room, like my previous rooms, now felt like one of the safest place to be. I’m now back to my normal, sociable self. In campus life, I’ve already started being active in my organizations. For one, I am now the Sophomore Batch Liaison Officer of the Ateneo Management Association and have joined and planned in a number of events of the Ateneo Celadon, my other org.
AMA Leadership Formation Seminar 2010
During the Bonfire at LFS with fAMAly
Ateneo Celadon Leadership Development Program 2010
With some of my Celadon Family
Everything was finally normal. Though I only get to see my parents once in a few months, I have to endure it. Because I know, by studying here in Manila, I will be able to step into a brighter future.
When Mom and Dad visited me here in ADMU
For the past five years of my life, I have been experiencing concrete changes. Changes that changed the course of my life, and thankfully, for the better. I do not know why change is essential but if I could go back, I would go back to that time when everything was crystal clear. When everything was normal, when I was at home with the people I love. That time when I was in Valencia. But time changes and people change. We can’t go back, we can only move forward. . I know for sure that I wasn’t the same Jason I was five years back. I have grown and have become better, more independent, and more knowledgeable. And even though home is so far away, I know I’ll always have the dorm to run to when I need the comfort of one. My life has transformed- from First Fruits to Kong Hua and finally, to Ateneo.
FRIENDS, I miss you guys.:(
I MISS THEM
And as I ponder about the future, who knows what change would bring about next? I guess maybe I’ll find out after three more years.
You see, we have this two-page paper for English wherein we’d write about our favorite location. Due to being so engrossed in writing it, I ended up having four pages. I don’t normally do this, but since I feel so proud of my paper, I am gonna post it on this blog. Hope you enjoy reading it.
No Place Like Home
I was looking through the Facebook photos of my friends with their family. They were all together, smiling in front of the camera in the comfort of their own home. Living in a dormitory, and being far away made me realize how much I miss home. Memories started flowing in to me like water running down from the top of a steep hill. Moments later, I found myself standing in front of the red gate just before one enters our compound. I continued and found myself walking on the cement walkway just outside our house. Walking in a yellowish pathway of cement with tiny rocks embedded in it made me recall a lot of my childhood memories where during Fridays after school, I would run on that walkway feeling excited because it’s a weekend and I would finally get to play Pokémon on my Game Boy. I then noticed the chain-link fence that looked like a fish-net which served as boundary that separated the road of our compound and our house. The house itself then stood in front of me. Its old white appearance and unappealing look from the outside seemed majestic before my eyes. Nothing has changed since I left. It still feels and still is home. Before entering the door, I peeked to my left and saw our garage. We had a garage where our two cars, a white Mitsubishi Strada and a silver Montero Sport, parked. Our dog, a German Shepherd named Kimberley, was in a dog cage near our cars. I remember that the place usually smelled like Kimberley’s waste. But in time, we all got used to the smell. Taking a deep breath, I opened the front door. Our house had two doors. Well, sort of. This is because before you get to the sleek wooden door, you first have to open a screen door. That screen door was there for as long as I could remember. It may have been replaced several times because of me lazily kicking it when I leave but it was never removed. Removing it would not feel right. Our front door would not be complete without a screen door. As soon as I entered the house, I felt emotional. My childhood years were spent here. I saw the living room with its new abstract-patterned brown sofas and neatly arranged square pillows. I saw all the antiques jars, plates and vases my mom collected during her thirties. Everything was still there- the elegant five arched ceiling lamp that boasts soothing yellow light, the smooth dark brown high tables with white-colored leaf patterns and four piece table set that carried the antique plate collection and our family pictures in frames, and the exquisite treasure chest decoration where a fancy ornate candle was placed on top. I then saw the round dining table where ten chairs with pink polka-dot cushions were attached. There were red line-patterned transparent placemats followed by red under plates on top of it. Round Tupperware plates with red borders lay atop the under plates. Beside them were neatly arranged dining utensils and a transparent glass turned upside down. At the center of the dining table was a Lazy Susan where a round glass covered its ventral surface. This dining table had a lot of memories for me. This is where my family and I ate good food for almost every day, where we’ve had fights or arguments with my siblings and where we’ve had a lot of happy conversations of how our day went or just random stuff we could think of. When we’d have lechon manok on our table, I remember that I’d always spin the Lazy Susan first in order to get the chicken’s leg part. My brother gets the other leg while my sister takes the wings. My dad just eats the rest while my mom just takes a single bite because she likes to diet. I miss eating with my family on that table. I explored the rest of the house. Everything seemed quite the same. Our entertainment room was still there where two single comfy sofas and one wide lay waiting for someone to rest on it. The huge wooden but polished entertainment stand that holds a DVD player, a Sony Bravia LCD TV, two chair-sized speakers and two woofers, and a karaoke player that looks like a normal DVD player but only 800 pages thick. I spent a lot of my childhood watching television on that place except the TV set back then looked like a big box. During weekdays after school, I’d rush to the television in order to catch an episode of Dragon ball, Ghost Fighter or Flame of Recca before my tutor arrived. Then I saw our garden, still as dignified as ever. Just like our front door, the entrance to our garden had two doors. From the entertainment room, I open the sliding door but another door, a metal sliding door with a lot of squares that looked like an all-black chess board in which the boxes were hollow. The metal door had a lock needing a key stood in the way. I first had to find the key to the sliding door located on one of the drawers on the entertainment stand. Being used to this, I found the key easily and opened our garden door. The fresh air was amazing. I stood on the porch where a square glass table with four metal chairs surrounding it. I saw our garden- the different variety of plants blooming as ever, the green Bermuda grass swaying gracefully against the soft wind, the two oddly slanted coconut trees on the corner, and the basketball court at one end of the garden. I remember riding my bicycle and going around the rectangular garden when I was a kid. I remember playing with my Dalmatian dog, Ponggo, here and all the other dogs we’ve come to own the following years. It was where I practiced playing basketball during the summer of my first year in high school. Having seen enough of the garden, I decided to go upstairs so I went back inside the house, and locked the garden door. The stairs that lead to the second floor still looked the same. They were still enclosed in a wooden wall. Yes, our stairs weren’t open. To properly describe it, going up our stairs was like going inside a cave that goes upward. The entrance to the stairs is located between our dining hall and living room. I climbed more or less 20 steps until I reached the dark area where the door to our second floor stood in front of me. I opened the door and reached the second floor. There were three rooms- one for my brother and I, one for my sister and one big one for my mom and dad. I enter my room and I suddenly feel ecstatic. I see my colorful double-decked bed where I slept during my childhood years. I remember I was always on the upper deck but sometimes, my little brother who was still in kinder then sometimes couldn’t sleep so I sleep with him on the lower deck. I see all the toys I played when I was a kid on display and my huge pile of K-Zone magazines. Yes, I was a huge fan of K-Zone and I never missed an issue since November 2004 until sometime 2008. I saw all my medals and certificates hanging on frames on the walls of my room. Being back in my room felt so good and it seeing it again made me realize how much I miss it. After a while, I felt sleepy so I decided to call it a day. I lay down on the lower deck bed with a stripe bed sheet and closed my eyes. Moments after, I dozed off and fell into a deep sleep.
I didn’t want to wake up yet but a loud version of Nokia Tune was playing. I got annoyed so I woke up and turned it off. I looked around. I was in my dorm room all along, sitting on my plastic chair in front of my laptop with my cell phone beside me. I felt sad. The realization that being home again was only a dream gave my chest a heavy feeling. It was all a dream, I told myself. Suddenly, I read the message on my phone. It was from my mom telling me to call her and I press the green telephone-shaped button on my phone immediately. I may not be back home yet, but talking to my parents and siblings on the phone made me feel I was. A few more weeks remain until the semester ends. Wait for me home, because there’s absolutely no place like you.
“What if she likes me too? And I just don’t know because I’ve been too scared to find out.”
And it bothered me so much, that I had to write a blog about it.
You see, at least one point in our lives, we get to experience the feeling of liking someone. It’s normal. It’s part of our human instinct. It’s human nature. It’s one of the best things in life- loving someone else. Or in this case, liking someone. There is a huge difference with like and love though which I will not discuss in this post. More than thousands of books have already been dedicated to differentiating the two terms.
When we like someone, we get this giddy feeling inside our chest or in other words, kilig. Aside from having an inspiration to do better, or have something to smile about, being kilig is one of the best things in liking someone. Well, unfortunately, when you’re a guy, your task is to make the girl kilig and not the other way around. That is why, it real hard for a guy to know if a girl has feelings for him too. A guy could have made one of the most kilig moves he had on the girl he likes, but the girl doesn’t show any reaction to it. She may simply act normally, like nothing happened and that both of you are only friends.
That’s the problem. How are guys supposed to know if a girl likes him back? What if the girl likes the guy all along and they never got together because they didn’t know?
Okay, now I remember that scene from the Thai movie “A Crazy Little Thing Called Love”. The female main character, Nam, really liked someone. She never told the guy for many many years. As it turns out, the guy she’s in love with, P’ Shone, liked her too. But he was just too scared to find out. In the scene, P’Shone was getting ready to leave town and he was reminscing about the girl he loves. While reading his “journal”, scenes from the movie were played. On one scene, it was Valentines Day and Nam, being so in love with Shone, didn’t feel happy even though she had received a lot of roses. This was because Shone had never given her one yet. Finally, Shone approaches her carrying a beautiful white rose but says its from his friend. It was later revealed that Shone had grown that rose months ago, took care of it, and when it finally bloomed, he uprooted it and gave it to Nam. Yes, it’s a sweet thing. But Nam had no clue that time. She thought it really was from Shone’s friend.
Point is.
What if were like Shone and Nam and she likes me too?
What if like Shone, I’m too afraid?
Should I risk our friendship to find out?
which reminds me of another quote,
Forget the risk, take the fall.
If it’s meant to be, it’s worth it all.
A close friend of mine just had her debut last night and unfortunately, I wasn’t there to celebrate with her.
You see, I study in Manila and my hometown, which is in Cagayan de Oro, is very far away. I would have to take an airplane ride to get there. The thing is, I wasn’t allowed to go home. I did try asking my parents a lot of times though but in the end, it was futile- they said no. With a no from my parents, there was no more way I could have gone home. No one would pay for my plane ticket and so, I had no choice but to accept the fact that I wasn’t going.
Believe me, accepting it was hard. And telling Jenica (my friend who just had her debut), that I couldn’t go made it even harder. But eventually, I got over it. Until a few hours ago.
My high school friends who went to the debut had just uploaded the pictures they took during the debut and because of Facebook’s awesome News Feed feature, it showed up on mine and I clicked the album. Seeing all my friends together in formal attire, having fun on the party, made me jealous. I wanted to be there. So bad.
I couldn’t say I regretted not being there. I tried to convince my parents. A lot of times. And because of that, I got scolded by my parents the same number of times I asked, which is a lot. But what’s done is done. The debut has passed and I’ve missed out on it.
I guess in life, there are just some things you can never have. Or events you can’t attend. Just like Taylor Swift’s concert tonight. I still feel bad about not being able to come to the debut but I just have to accept it like all the other events I haven’t been able to attend or things I wanted but never had.
So instead of feeling sorry for myself, I look back at all the events I’ve been to. Reminiscing good times and epic moments.
(I smile)
Because I know, in the near future, more awesome events will happen.
Though I can’t attend everything, but I’ll definitely be there in some of them.
I’ll miss them! I’ll see them around sembreak na naman. :c
Oh and I also introduced them to my brother and sister 
